16 May 2011

Vata gone haywire

Every questionnaire, ayurvedic doctor, friends in the know have told me, I am very vata-pitta. When I first read about my dosha it rang hilariously true! A consultation with a Ayurvedic doctor in India two years ago said I am Vata-Pitta with a Pitta imbalance. I have always related more to the angry, irritable, hot and sweaty pitta in me. Although everyone else pins the vata label to me straight away. Now my vata side is really rearing it's head and taking control, enough for me to sit up and take note, why have I always denied the vata in me, when it is clearly my ruling dosha.

My thoughts are all over the place, ideas springing up but sadly with not much follow through. I have note books full of plans, sketches, thoughts, all of which have not been taken through the necessary steps to completion. Half-baked.

My eating and sleeping would be even more erratic if it weren't for my incredibly stable and grounded husband. Even that can feel a bit like being tied down and I often feel the need to cut free and whirl off on my own hot air - but in reality he is more like the rigging to my sail - without which who knows what wind would carry me off. As it is, I billow and puff, flutter and flail in one general direction. When vata eases pitta can come through, and it's time to roll up my sleeves and get down to the nitty gritty.

As of 11th of March, vata has been disturbed, to put it mildly. When the ground, which I was trying hard to stay rooted to in the first place, decided to shake and ripple, the darker side of vata, fear, worry and anxiety have been taking their hold. It creeps up on me during the day, all of a sudden I am fearful and full of worry. One worrisome thought leads to the next and the next and then I'm in a big old whirlwind of a tiz. Centre scattered and sent keeling off tilter. After shocks, radiation, and strong strong winds blowing in yellow sands from China. This windy vata girl needs to stand firm and strong.

Ashtanga has been doing a fine job helping me ground. The strong steady asana of primary series, combined with ujayi, a dash of calming pranayama and most importantly the wonderful yoga community both virtual and physical. Reading blogs, the positive ones, and trying to keep away from the dooms days freak me out ones, really don't need anymore fuel for the fire. It is not easy living here right now. Classes have been filled with wonderful people who are joining together in this practice at this difficult time. The energy and comradeship is amazing. Everyone enjoying the power of their combined energy, to practice in a group really is a special thing. I still remember Sri K P Jois counting a New Years day class of about 60 people, the sound as everyone inhaled into upward facing dog. One of my best memories. So different from a lone practice, which does have it’s highs too, my very stable and steady pitta friend comes from time to time to practice with me – makes a huge difference. I am thankful for the simple things, friends, love, flowers and stable ground.

Om shanti

3 comments:

  1. Sounds like you are finding balance despite the vata wind ... it's a turbulent time, eh? I'm not usually a worrier but lately anxiety creeps up on me and takes hold. I think a lot of people are feeling it. I didn't know you got to study with Guruji! so lucky, I'm sad I missed him.

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  2. Lovely post, love reading about how the practice is helping you all holid it together, it is grounding isn't it.

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  3. Loo, practicing in the shala with Guruji was indeed an experience. Grimmly, yes there is nothing more grounding than primary at a pace, fast bodily action no time to think ;)

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