13 Jun 2011

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Those were the words that struck me in Haruki Murakami's book, 'What I talk about when I talk about running'. This has been pure masochistic reading material. I used to really enjoy running, and was about to start up again, knee on the mend, ordered this book to pep me up for the occasional jog around the neighbourhood. I enjoy the simplicity of running, just one foot in front of the other, breathing and taking in the view. But alas, not for a while longer, my knee popped again, more days of hobbling around, trying not to suffer but doing a terrible job. Reading about running, longing my knee to heal, obsessing about what could be wrong. Pouring over anatomy books, internet sites, fiddling with bones and ligaments, trying to find the cause. I knew it was definitely coming from my hip, but why? I'm very very careful with my alignment, not too forceful, my hips aren't so tight that I've been forcing lotus.  

Was feeling down, not just because of the pain, but because I didn't know exactly what the source of this pain was. The only thing I’d been doing differently was working hard at both legs behind head……a valid enough cause perhaps, and had been experimenting with lifting my heels coming up from backbends in order to keep my feet parallel. Something I remember being told not to do a long time ago, by whom, I can’t remember but something about too much pressure on knees was mentioned.

This morning I gave up and went to the doctor. The doctor who gives me lessons. This time was quite a surprise, he pulled and prodded, questioned and listened. I like this doctor. So many doctors here just don't listen. Off I was sent for x-rays. Wasn't too keen, what with all the radiation talk about, but hey, top me up a bit more!! So it seems that I have something called developmental dysplasia of hips, very shallow hip sockets, which is quite rare in Caucasians, cartilage is normal hence the hip pain, hence the clonkiness of my femurs not quite in place, shifting position and putting pressure on my knee, thus slightly damaging my medial meniscus. He said it would have been very easy for me to dislocate my hips as a child, I do remember being very open in ballet class. So the recent change was probably brought on my me losing the muscle that was keeping my femur in place, abrupt ending to snowboarding, and no body boarding this year, and by lots of stretching.....so here we go again, knee rehabilitation part 2.  Experiments with Ashtanga yoga. How much modification will be needed unttil this one heals. For now I have to really work on building the muscles that stabilise my hip joints. A lovely lady in rehabilitation gave me some tips, most of which I can insert into my practice. Ride my bike up mountains more, and see how it goes.

Amazingly, now I have an answer, even though the pain is the same, I feel considerably less suffering.

1 comment:

  1. Just saw your comment on FB saying you were doing some krama, thought Oh no what's she done this time. Funny, it's often the practice that makes us the most frustrated about injuries ie that we cant practice as we want to, yet also gives us the tools to deal with an injury mentally and physically. Glad you found a good sawbones that took the time with you. Misa says in the old days if you wanted a second opinion you had to move far away as Doctors couldn't admit they were mistaken and other doctors would always concur. heal quickly.